When two of the five are finished, I resign.
Not a transition. Not a stepping-back to spend time with my family. A resignation, in writing, submitted within thirty days of the second of these two planks being complete.
Everybody agrees this is stupid. Everybody does it anyway, twice a year, forever. It is the last thing in America we all agree on — so it is where we start.
Release the Epstein files, and convene a standing public commission that works through them name by name — so that every person who appears in them accounts publicly for how and why they appear.
What counts as finished
- 1
The clocks. A federal law eliminating the seasonal clock change nationwide has been signed and has taken effect, and a full calendar year has passed in which no clock in the United States was required to change. Standard or daylight, either one counts. The condition is that we picked one — not which one we picked.
- 2
The accounting. The commission has worked through the documents, every person named in them has had the opportunity to account for their appearance under oath and in public, referrals have been made where the evidence warranted them, and the findings have been published in full.
Why have a resignation clause at all
Every politician who has ever told you they would leave once the job was done has discovered, upon finishing the job, several additional jobs. The usual defense against this is term limits, which arrive on a schedule rather than on completion.
These two planks were chosen partly because they are finishable and because you can check the work. One of them you can check by looking at a clock in March. The other produces a published document with an end page. There is no version of either where it is eighty percent done forever.
The remaining three planks — summer vacation, hamster wheels, moon display — are explicitly not my problem after that. A human-powered compute mandate is a multi-decade undertaking and I will not be here for it.
I am aware that this is the least believable thing on this website. Abolishing daylight saving has better odds than the hamster wheels, and I am running third.
The other three planks
Including the one about the Moon.